Ted Talks




I am very excited about attending my first Ted Talk in Bristol. It is on the theme of failure, which is very important to me. When I think of failure I think about the Victoria Sponge cake I made in Home Economics, which I then left out on the side to go stale. I brought the delightfully sprinkled lump of hard bread home two days later and no one would touch it, and I failed to feed my family that day.

I am attending the talk as a means of Research for The Photo Mem (the script I am writing with Tom Betts for Western Edge Productions, see earlier over excited posts) but am terrified about the lack of seat allocations. You can’t relax if there is a possibility you may be sitting at the back, in the middle, next to people who might fall asleep or have arthritis or tut if I kept up to go to the toilet or need fresh air or all the knowledge  gets too darn much and I need to just go and eat a burrito.

Hopefully the audience will all be guilt ridden liberal types who are  far too polite to push in front of me or point out my queue jumping.




I am also worried about the ‘Networking’ part of the schedule, which I can only assume is strictly reinforced or expected because it is in the program.

‘Failed much?’ is my opening networking line. Followed by ‘And why aren’t you at work?’

Although this whole ‘networking’ business could all be a clever ploy related to the talk three talks later by Sarah Abell.




There it is again. More networking.

Well I am fairly certain I don’t know how to talk to strangers, but I am good at standing around looking like I am laughing at my own joke. It’s a facial defense mechanism.

Either way, I am will be reading Vanity Fair in the corner. That’s my version of relating authentically. Not. Therefore, Miss Abell, I  passed your test, there is no failure here because I just didn’t try.

But it would be nice to have someone to Network with. Unfortunately I don’t tell my writing partner Tom Betts about these important research events until they have sold out. I’m organised like that. It’s like the way I offer him banana’s even though he hates banana’s. I know he has strong feelings about them, but I can never remember which way it goes, so I make sure I always have plenty of banana’s in when he comes round just in case.

Side note:

I told my mother the entire plot of the film last night, and it wasn’t quite the elevator pitch I had hoped for as I kept forgetting essential plot points and having to go back. It’s like explaining The Sixth Sense scene by scene but never mentioning that Hayley Joel Osmond is a child. Makes the story weird. She said it sounded good, and she would see it when it came out, which is nice of her

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