His Plans for the Single Life

I will become a far more boring person when I start to date again. I will be marked by the ultimate rejection and it will lead me to be an agreeable undynamic mess of a man. I will be drawn to women of a similar ilk; messy sooty-eyed desperate lumps that want someone to notice them. We will be inoffensive to each other in inoffensive restaurants, and there will be a explosive minefield of upsetting subjects neither of us will bring up, my divorce, her abusive ex husband, whether we believe in God or not…

I want inoffensive conversations with inoffensive women over bland food.


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